August 01, 2021

I'm not depressed but I worry I'll get to the end of my life feeling I haven't done all I wanted to do.

I posted this on Instagram & received awed replies commenting on my signed copy of the 'Before Sunset' script; alas, I'd just found it online (gratefully).

By Julie Delpy, Ethan Hawke, Richard Linklater

Earlier this year, I re-watched two-thirds of the "Before" trilogy. I held out on re-watching the third because I didn't want to be sad!, instead seeking the optimism of the first two. 

As expected, 'Before Sunset' again induced sweeping heart feels. I think it is a near perfect film, with the most perfect ending. (Nina Simone's 'Just In Time' may very well be in my top 10 songs of all time—because of this film.)

Now that I'm of the same age of Jesse and Celine, with more experience, the film is more resonant and relatable. I reveled in their romance and dialogue!

Jesse
Definitely. Are you depressed now?

Celine
No. I'm not depressed but I worry I'll get to the end of my life feeling I haven't done all I wanted to do.

Jesse
What do you want to do?

Celine
I mean I want to paint, write more songs, learn Chinese, play my guitar each day. There are so many things that I want to do, and I end up doing not much.

He laughs.

Jesse
Well let me ask you this: do you believe in ghosts, or spirits?

Celine
No. 

Jesse
Do you believe in reincarnation?

Celine
Not at all.

Jesse
What about God?

Celine
No, no.

Jesse laughs. 

Celine (cont'd) 
But at the same time, I don't want to be one of those people that don't believe in any kind of magic.

Jesse
So you believe in Astrology.

Celine
Of course! I mean, you're a Scorpio, I'm a Sag, we get along. No. There's that Einstein quote that if you don't believe in any kind of magic or mystery, you're as good as dead.

Jesse
Yeah, I've always felt there was some kind of mystical core to the universe. But I don't believe that me, my personality, has any permanent place here. And the more I believe that, the more I can't go through life and think "This is no big deal." This is it. What do you see? What do you feel? What do you think is funny? Every day is the last.


Celine
No, I like it. I had a terrible nightmare the other day. I was having an awful dream that I was 32, then I woke up and I was 23, relieved, and then I woke up for real and I was 32.

Jesse
Aw shit, it happens.

Celine
Time gets faster and faster. Apparently it's because we don't renew our synapses after 20, so it's all pretty much downhill from then on.

Jesse
On the other hand, I like getting old. Life feels more immediate—you can appreciate it more.

Celine
Oh, I know. I actually like it too.

No comments:

Post a Comment